THE SECRET

THE SECRET Jul 28, '07 5:43 AM
for everyone

Philippine machismo requires that in his lifetime, the average Filipino male should drink a gazillion liters of alcohol. Among politicians, especially, this is a must, and proof of his electability is counted among the bottles of beer he consumes.

I must confess, however, that I do not have that problem. Give me enough beer and I just keel over.

Seriously, I am not able to consume alcohol in the prodigious amounts some of my friends do and confine myself, in large part, to the world of a mild social drinker's cocktails. I regret the nights I cannot control myself. Let's face it: Drunk is a bad state to be in. The next day's hangover even worse.

I even stopped dating a perfectly nice girl for the simple reason she could consume more beer than I could (and to this day she must be wondering why). My mistake, maybe she would have been... errr... nicer... had I let her drink more.

So it made me wonder, if you have to be an alcoholic to be a successful politician, doesn't that make us a country run by drunkards? A country beholden to the San Miguel Corporation?

Until I discovered the secret, unveiled to me by a politician at a party when the drinks were served.

"Here we go again!", he said, making me raise one eyebrow. Sensing my curiosity, he asked, "You know what I do when I find myself in situations where everyone is supposed to drink himself blind?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

He continues, "I drink the first bottle of beer, a little of the second, excuse myself to the bathroom, pour most of the beer out of the second bottle before returning to the table. I then repeat this procedure for every succeeding bottle making sure I take no more than a few sips from each."

I nearly gagged on MY beer. Now I know what to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can you imagine the nerve of some people? At church, during mass, someone actually lit a cigarette, I almost dropped my beer!

Thanks for this joke, Verns!